Pokemon Research 101: Breeding
by PhoenixClaw
Summary: Becoming a Pokemon researcher takes lots of hard work, but what about lucking out and scoring big on some first-hand field experience? And what type of field experience, you may ask? Why catching some Pokemon in the act, of course. Go science!


**Disclaimer:** I don't own Pokemon. Maybe some day, but not right now.

This has been on my desktop for the better part of a month. I intended to write the whole thing and post it as a one shot, but it looks like that just isn't going to happen. Better to toss it up here and let someone else enjoy it rather than have its icon stare at me forever. Hopefully, the guilt of leaving this story only half-told will finally prompt me to finish it. :P

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><p>In most cases, life as a Pokémon researcher promised to be invigorating, rich in unique experiences and, to a lesser extent, moderately lucrative. This also meant that such a career path was sought after by many individuals hoping to carve out a niche in the professional world. Though there were an abundance of casual researchers, only the truly dedicated made it to the top. To achieve this high pinnacle of success, it was customary to document a previously unknown Pokémon or contribute to the database of current information with something truly profound.<p>

It was through this second avenue to success that up-and-coming Pokémon researcher Benjamin Dover hoped to secure a career. One of the elements of Pokémon that had never actually been documented was Pokémon breeding; though the discovery of Pokémon eggs was relatively commonplace, actually witnessing the act was still unknown to science. With illusions of grandeur running through his head, the fledgling researcher aimed to set up camp in the Kanto Safari Zone, hoping to produce one of the most stunning film documentaries in recent Pokémon history.

Oh, and what a stunning film it would certainly turn out to be...

**Day 1: Auto Focus Issues**

_Flashlight? Check. Non-perishable food? Check. Fresh water? Check._

Junior researcher Benjamin scanned his gear one more time as he pulled open the rear hatch of his car parked just on the outskirts of the forest. Arrangements had been made with the Safari Zone warden to set up a discrete camp for 31 days in one of the trees on the northern perimeter of the entrance. Turns out he had not been the first to come up with such an idea as a sturdy, partially enclosed platform greeted him about fifteen feet above the ground.

Smiling, the young man began to unpack the essentials: Camera, tripod, and zoom lens. Everything else could stay in the car, as that would serve as home base for the foreseeable future. Utilizing a ladder attached to the rear of the trunk, Ben made his way up top and assembled the contraption.

_Okay, good. Film is in, battery checks out, clear weather all day and sunlight for hours. Let's roll._

Studying a map earlier in the week had revealed a large man-made island dead center in the current zone. A bit of digging through local records showed Krabby, Poliwag, Dratini, Goldeen and Psyduck could all be found in or around the water, but it was the final specimen, Slowpoke, that Ben had decided to focus his attention on.

Krabby and Poliwag spent most of their time on the bottom of the make-shift lake, Goldeen and Dratini were out of the question due to the lack of an underwater camera and all the Psyduck present had taken a liking to the opposite side of the little landmass he had set his sights upon. Thus, it was a pair of Slowpoke lazily situated on an outcropping of rocks that took up the full view of the camera's lens.

One final peripheral was added to the set-up, and within moments, a small LCD screen was sitting atop a pilfered milk crate broadcasting the sight ahead. A comfy collapsible chair found itself positioned off to the side and the young scientist quickly settled in for an afternoon of dutiful research. Ben hardly had time to stretch his legs before standing once again, this time fiddling with the controls on the display.

_Ah, what the...come on, seriously?_

For some inexplicable reason, no sooner had the monitor begun to steadily hum with power then it suddenly grew dim and fuzzy. A quick once over of the equipment led to no obvious solutions, thus there was little to do other than simply fiddle with it. Releasing a sigh, Ben turned a dial, bringing the whole scene into near-perfect perspective. Still...

_Probably better to just let it take care of itself._

Stealing one last glimpse at the peaceful Slowpoke, a single digit hit auto focus. The screen, still centered on the small rock outcropping, momentarily displayed two very blurry pink blobs. Soon afterward, both objects came back into view...alongside a certain latest addition.

With a sudden gasp, Ben just about swallowed his own tongue at the sight of the newly-arrived egg. Dropping to a knee, he head-butted the small console while simultaneously unleashing a death grip upon its slender frame.

"_Oh sweet Arceus no! _But I wasn't even-...they couldn't have-...how could it just-..."

A scant few colorful comments flew by the wayside as the researcher in question played and replayed the last fifteen seconds of tape, his jaw all the while drawing closer and closer to his toes.

**Day 6: Abra, Kadabra...Alakazam!**

Nothing.

Six long days since that initial event, and absolutely no results thereafter. Oh, sure, there had been activity, but nothing egg-related. During the intervening time between that horrible mishap and now, the Safari Warden had made his usual rounds, gathering up the egg and bringing it back to the resident Pokécenter. The Slowpoke didn't seem to mind, most likely used to the act as a means of keeping a strict tally on the precise number of each type of Pokémon in the park. Though the reason for keeping a trim population was clear, the fate of the egg after its departure was anyone's guess.

At this point though, Ben didn't really care if it was given to an aspiring trainer or served sunny side up. All he wanted was another chance at landing a spot in history. Alas, that would have to wait since the pair of Pokémon hadn't even gone _near_ each other since. Both were doing little more than sunning themselves on opposite sides of a raised plateau of stone.

And then it happened.

Just as the young man was beginning to relax with a cup of coffee, one of the Slowpoke rose to its feet and waddled toward the other. Thinking the moment had finally come, two widening eyes locked onto the screen before him.

Closer...

Closer still...

As one Slowpoke approached the other, step by step, inch by inch...it suddenly took a sharp turn and hopped off the ledge, hiding itself from view. An abrupt twitch overcame Ben's eye as he stared at the screen in hopeful anticipation. Maybe it was shy? Would it come back from a different angle? Foreseeing yet another disappointing day, Ben took a dejected sip of coffee-

Just as the Slowpoke from before popped back up, decked out in a top hat, cloak, and magician's wand. It was a glorious spit-take.

"The hell!"

Alas, his words could not be heard over such a distance as the stage-performing Pokémon took off its hat, turned it upside-down and held it out to the partner Slowpoke. As both Pokémon got into the act, the young researcher could only watch in petrified amazement as the wand was tapped on the brim.

*Tap!*

Out popped an Abra, which promptly used Teleport. Ben's eyebrow gave another valiant twitch.

*Tap! Tap!*

A Kadabra joined the scene, though only its head was able to fit through the opening. Casting a withering glare at its summoner, the yellow Pokémon retreated back into the confines from which it had emerged.

*Tap! Tap! Tap!*

...nothing.

*Tap? Tap? Tap?*

Seemingly perplexed, the Slowpoke cast a quizzical glance into the opening at the precise second a large thump made itself known directly behind the researcher. Without thinking, Ben whirled around-

Only to come face to face with a rather large and very intimidating mustachioed psychic-type.

"_Alakazam!"_

"GAH!"

A cacophony of booms and crashes echoed from the small tree-based dwelling as he pitched backwards, taking the camera to the floor with him. His new visitor vanished in a display of psychic energy, allowing the shaken researcher an opportunity to frantically set his camera back on target.

Good thing too, since it was just in time to see the nice Pokémon egg sitting between a pair of sunbathing Slowpoke.

The young man immediately clenched his teeth, biting off a string of obscenities that would have made a sailor on the S.S. Anne proud.

**Day 11: Pokéball Z**

Ben absently scratched at his newly grown stubble. Shaving had become an inconvenience in the pursuit of catching his key to fame on film; who knew how many missed opportunities there might have been during that most arduous of hygienic tasks? One had been a bad bout of luck, the second was hallucinations induced by psychic energy (or so he kept telling himself), and as for a third...

No. There would be no more missed chances. He would keep an eye on the camera _at all times_, making sure not so much as a Pidgey dropping dared to come within striking distance of the meticulously positioned lens. Yes, that was the solution. Never leave your station, never miss the target. Never leave your station, never miss the target...

Ben gave his newly arrived beard-in-training another fierce scratch as he detected the slightest of shifts in each Slowpokes relative position. The young researcher sat bolt upright in response.

_HA! Here we go! This is it! _

The two Pokémon in question slowly..._ever so slowly_...began to waddle towards each other. Step by step, inch by inch...just like last time. Oh, but this would be different! No more mishaps, no more missed opportunities! He'd record every blessed moment and finally attain his dream. Now all he had to do was be patient for just a few more seconds and...

But alas, his dreams would have to wait as both Pokémon did an about face and stood up on their hind legs. Momentarily thinking he was witnessing a double evolution, Ben couldn't quite process the sight before him as each miraculously turned right towards the distant camera. The fact that they both suddenly pulled out a miniature turtle hermit gi happened to be icing on the cake.

Small pebbles and stones began to levitate as each Pokémon concentrated on attaining its ultimate power level. Several moments later, a pair of spiky blond wigs found themselves pulled from parts unknown and placed snugly upon their heads.

They had gone Super Slowpoke.

Not to be outdone, the pair of P Fighters took on a mirrored stance. The young man looked on in stupefied awe as they proceeded to move in a synchronized, hypnotic dance. Weaving their stubby arms in perfect tempo, Ben watched, captivated, as they suddenly drew together, touched paws and-

*BZZT*

An old 90's anime suddenly popped up on the display showcasing an arid wasteland with three muscled men situated in the forefront. Two fighters regarded each other cautiously as the one in orange finished powering up.

Suffice it to say, Dover's train of thought abruptly derailed at the sudden animated spectacle.

"_What is this I don't even-"_

Back on the screen, Nappa regarded Goku with a look of shaken confidence.

"Hey Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his power level?"

The Saiyan prince rumbled in fury, snapping the item off his face and pulverizing it in an instant.

"**Its over** **NINE THOUSAND!**"

An icy cold splash of dread washed across the larger man's demeanor.

"What? Nine thousand! There's no _way_ that can be right, _can it_?"

*BZZT*

For several long moments, a peaceful, palpable silence engulfed the area, save for the pulsing rhythm of an impending migraine.

Whether the data had been correct or not, it paled in comparison to the blood pressure reading Ben now possessed. Despite his familiarity with failure, the poor young man just about had an aneurysm after observing the fresh new arrival of one distinct egg situated between two Slowpoke, fast asleep beneath the mid-morning sun.

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><p>Sucks to be Ben, eh? Like I said, the story is only half done, and yes, I have all of it in my head. Writer's block can be a real pain, ya know? Well, I hope you enjoyed reading it! With a bit of luck (and a lot less procrastination), I'll hopefully have part 2 up in the next, oh...decade or so. :D<strong><br>**


End file.
